Anu Mahadev On Books And Writing
For my latest author interview, I’m joined by Anu Mahadev.
This interview has been edited.
“A Mouthful of Sky” was released in 2022. Would you tell me a little bit about it?
Sure. When I was writing the poems that would eventually become part of this book, I had no idea they would fall under a theme so cohesively. Most of these poems are from the viewpoint of a bipolar woman who has been used, abused and manipulated and yet at the same time has found freedom and pleasure and ecstasy — as she explores the limits to which she can stretch herself, only to return to a zero state.
The speaker feels powerful and vulnerable at the same time, and always in a state of transition as she clings to the vestiges of a youth that is fast fading, while staring straight ahead at a reality she is no longer afraid of. Simultaneous dualities have always fascinated me, because I am such a black or white — 0 or 1 kind of person, and this book for me was an exploration of the gray areas, where the presence of one element does not negate the necessity of another conflicting element.
What is the meaning of the title?
The sky is limitless, it has no boundaries. In fact, when prisoners are asked what they miss the most while being confined to a small windowless cell, the most common answer is the sky — due to its vast expanse, its changing colors, its wide range of possibilities. It is the ultimate escape. Here the prisoner is a woman, long bound by strict, unforgiving rules in a patriarchal society — her role, her formulaic life defined even before she is born. And while she cannot do anything to stray away from the path already laid out for her, every sense of mystery or imagination stolen, her mind is free to do what it wishes.
The mouth is a sensual organ, representing desire and escape. Her mouth, which has probably been shut silent all this time without any rights or permissions to dream or convey what she wants, is now open, and taking in huge gulps of air, of freedom, of the sky. She doesn’t want it all, or does she? Like a pendulum swaying, she swings from one extreme to another aimlessly, just to feel free.
How did you go about getting the book published?
At first, I did not have a plan for this. With a lot of guidance from Roberto Carlos Garcia, a fellow Drew alum, my unofficial mentor, and the founder of an independent press, Get Fresh Books (GFB), I started submitting a few of the poems to literary journals that matched my style and taste.
Amidst a big pile of rejections, there were acceptances too, which were very encouraging. Till that point, I had no idea what it felt like to see your work in print in a journal! Meanwhile, Roberto had started to publish a few Drew poets and so I approached him with my manuscript as well. He did not think it was ready at first, and it took me nearly a year or so to get everything sorted out.
Stacey Balkun, a Brooklyn poet and mentor with a critical eye, helped immensely with her suggestions. After that I approached Roberto again, and this time, we agreed that GFB would publish the book. I signed a contract, but then the pandemic hit, and slowed everything to a near halt. But the book did finally come out in April 2022, and I am very happy with how it has turned out. I did not submit to various presses and wait to hear back. But that is probably what I will do the next time for the next book.
Any big projects in the works?
At this point, no. I am taking it slow, writing when I can and feel like, submitting to a few places, but really honing my craft even more, with the help of writing workshops and retreats and fabulous teachers.
I don’t read publicly very often either. The joy of writing and creating something carries more weight for me than publicity or ambition. If, in the next few years I find myself with enough material for another book, then sure, I will try again. If not, I am perfectly content with where I am.
